How to Deal with Difficult People

How often are you irritated at work? Are there certain people who constantly drive you round the bend? Do you go home to your partner and vent about your colleagues latest behaviour? This is not unusual. There are many types of ‘difficult’ people, in fact most of us will take on one or two of these personas ourselves at different intersections of life. What is important to know is how to identify them, how to understand their individual motivations and how to take the opportunity to turn difficult people and poor performers into team players.

The experts at Mind Tools have identified 10 types of difficult people:

1.     The Know-it-All. Know-it-all experts are of two types: the truly competent, productive, self-assured, genuine expert and the partially informed person pretending to be an expert. Both can be a pain. This is someone who feels sure that they know more than everyone else on the team and they have a low tolerance for correction.

2.     The Interrupter. This person stops others contributing fully as they constantly interrupt. They believe their point of view is more important than that of others, are inpatient and are not good listeners. This person can really stifle creativity and exploration of ideas.

3.     The Ignorer. This character will choose carefully who they communicate with, and they make others feel invisible.

4.     The Bore. The Bore doesn’t bring much to the table but still likes the sound of their own voice. They can also actively ignore people's signals that they're too busy, or not interested in their conversation.

5.     The Prima Donna. There can be a high level of arrogance in the Prima Donna. Everything's about them: their ideas, their needs, their successes. They can also perform very well in the workplace but you’ll certainly know about it too. They can distract the team from driving the business agenda.

6.     The Work Martyr. This is the person who never stops working (or telling you about it). Nothing you do ever comes close to the amount of time and energy they've put in. They grab every role and responsibility going – and expect you to be grateful.

7.     The Whiner. The Whiner is constantly complaining. They are also fault-finding, blaming, and certain about what should be done but resolve very little. Constant complaining can also be a coping mechanism, so it’s important to recognise this and investigate the root cause.

8.     The Negativity Spreader. Being pessimistic isn’t a problem in itself, but when people are permanently in this state of mind, it’s difficult. These people have the power to drag us down because they stir up the pool of doubt and disappointment within us all. They steer every conversation toward the reasons why something won't work – and why you might as well give up now.

9.     The Rainmaker. This character is a tricky one to navigate as they are a high performer. They often don’t adhere to team norms, but because they're a star performer they expect everyone to deal with the way they work. They can be a disruptive influence for good and bad.

10.  The Boundary Crosser. This character invades your space, physically and emotionally. Whether they're eating your food from the fridge, or telling you more about their personal life than you're comfortable knowing, they breach your boundaries.

 The most difficult people are rarely aware of the effect they have on others. In fact, they often end up feeling really insecure in the social world because they're unable to identify their problems. However, there are things we can all do to help energise employees of all types and, at the same time, resolve conflicts less painfully and delegate critical tasks more efficiently. Here are some top tips:

·       Focus on the content of what people are saying not the delivery;

·       Figure out what the other person cares about and use this understanding to make them more effective;

·       Don’t make assumptions about people too fast, ask genuine questions to get to the core of the problem;

·       Let people have their naysaying moments, then pivot your chat into a more helpful and hopeful direction;

·       Gather and deal in facts, and create a problem-solving attitude;

·       Know that you can motivate and direct employees even when they don’t share your values;

·       Work on winning the cooperation and trust of everyone in your organisation;

·       Use coaching to guide and direct your team members to improving performance.

 These tips are just starting points for coping with difficult people at work. If you’d like to learn more in-depth techniques and build strategies to create and measure high performing teams, then get in touch with Marbral Advisory today: E: hello@marbraladvisory.com W: www.marbraladvisory.com